Living in a bubble...

That's my new wish. I want to live in a bubble and in some ways I already do. I don't mean a fishtank where people can stare at you - my days of wanting to live in a movie ended in high school. I mean the type of seclusion my Dad always dreams of... the kind where you can life your own life and no one gets a say. You'd think being 3,000 miles away from most of the people we know would allow us that type of freedom but then you'd forget about the locals. It seems that no matter what you do or don't do for that matter, there will always be someone who is offended, hurt, in disagreement, or just flat out feels the need to steal your joy.

Upon returning home from the States on my month-long trip home, I made a decision that what Joe, Rudy and I need come first and what others need will come second. I know it sounds simple enough but in reality is difficult to live out when you're a people-pleasing type of person. I realized that I've spent most of my life doing things and saying things and being places absolutely to please others and do as they wished. When times came for me to have needs or wants or happy days of celebration, it wasn't exactly reciprocated. Such is life, I suppose.

After a few days home, and acually LIVING out my bubble concept, I had a major epiphany. I CAN be happy doing only what I want... and no one died over it! Joe and I never had a better few days together and I felt like I was seeing life through rose-colored glasses. I'm deciding it is my new addiction.

I mean, think about it... I live in a beautiful country which is truly such an amazing opportunity. So many others here spend their time complaining about not knowing the language or not having the same food or comforts of the states or not having friends etc. I say get over it. I am the LAST person to try new food and I'm surviving! I took five years of French so unless I can respond in that tongue, I'm just as stuck as anyone else! I, being the anti-social person I am, have few friends myself and find that I get by just fine. It's not that I don't feel for their discomfort, I just truly believe God brought me here for a reason and I should enjoy it.

What is there to complain about? This country has a lot of customs I don't agree with but there is so much to see and so many experiences to have. Who thought just going for coffee would be an adventure? How can that be bad? We get amazing thunderstorms and awesome wind gusts - too of my absolute favorite things. I am minutes from some of the most beautiful beaches around.

Yes, we have discomforts and inconveniences. When I went back to the States, I realized something. The food wasn't THAT good. The stuff I thought I missed so much wasn't what I remembered it being when I was sitting in Spain missing it... except maybe the shopping... and spending time with my parents. I mean, napping through Sunday golf isn't the same unless Dad's on the other couch snoring.

It's just that life is so great right now. I refuse to complain for complaining's sake. I love my husband and have an awesome marriage. He is truly my best friend and we are still in the honeymoon stage and try to always be, no matter how negative other people get around us. Our dog Rudy is hysterical and makes us smile all of the time. The weather is allowing us to get more active and Joe and I have collectively lost more than 30 pounds in two months! We love our house and our surroundings. Getting ready to celebrate our first anniversary, we're planning our first MAJOR vacation together to Rome for seven days! Sure, we've done Nags Head and Atlantic City and of course, our honeymoon to Disney... but this is Europe! Rome! It doesn't get better than that! With all of that to think about... how can I waste ONE minute on stress about volunteer programs, work issues, gossip, estranged friends or family, or even not being able to get certain state-side food I miss. There is just no point! There are FAR too many other blessings around me to focus on and be happy about.

I have had seen one of my parents' friends be healthy one day and terminal the next. I have a friend who at the young age of 40 is now starting her battle against M.S. with amazing spirits! I have an aunt who died when she was only one year older than I am, and she had three little kids at the time! It could be SO much more worse right now! And I'm just really tired of hearing people pick apart decisions or opinions I make or have and complain about silly things wrong in their lives when there is a much bigger picture.

So I've decided to look at this the way I did before we got here... as an adventure. And borrowing Glee's Rachel's theme song - "noboby's gonna break my stride"... I'm doing just that, living my life without a care for anyone but my husband. Selfish? Maybe. Needed? Definitely. Too many days have gone by where I've waited for emails and thought those close to me would be there for things I thought were important, only to be disappointed.

I am still the same family-oriented, people-loving person I've always been at heart. I'm just over being the person who gives up my wants and needs for others. I'm stepping into that bubble, or cave as my Dad calls it... and living my life.

For those who feel the need to always follow certain rules or create drama if things aren't done 'just so'... you probably won't get along with the new me... just sayin'. It's not that I don't care about those things anymore... but where have they gotten me? I've always followed rules and done what I was supposed to when most didn't and it never seemed to matter. Whatever the outcome was, was anyway with or without my cooperation. I just hope those that know me and care enough to be part of my life by choice and not by happenstance of blood or marital relationship... will love me anyway.

And if not... I'll be in my bubble regardless, enjoying every minute I have with Joe and Rudy and thanking God along the way for all my blessings. And maybe, just maybe, it will be contagious.